How to Dehumanize me…
23 ways to ignore my humanity
I have been pondering an article like this for a few weeks and then Ted Gioia posted on a similar thought process…whaddaya know? Great minds do indeed think alike.
Sometimes the only way to see the light is to sit with the darkness. To fully appreciate the human, sometimes we have to see what it looks to devalue them.
To that end, here are a few ways to dehumanize the person (please DON’T do these):
Treat me like I’m only flesh and blood and ignore the spiritual dimensions of my existence: Give me a glowing screen, a slot machine, or an endless streaming show to distract me from my existential angst. Life is only to consume: food, fun, and frivolity. Anything to ignore the deeper questions that chase me when I wake up or go to sleep…
Treat me like I’m only spirit: ignore my present needs for food and shelter and just hand me a Bible, or whatever spiritual tract, as if the handout is more important than if I make it through this cold night. View life like a spiritual video game, and try to collect the most points here, so you have the best set up in the hereafter. Here only matters insofar as it makes “heaven” a better experience. And forget the earth while we’re at it, it’s just a thing to exploit until heaven arrives, much like this body of ours…
Reduce me to a trait or characteristic: I’m only my gender, my ethnicity, my socioeconomic status, my locality, or my preferences, and nothing more. If you’re horny, only see my body as a sexual instrument for your pleasure. If you’re greedy, only see me as an input in your corporate machine. If you’re “holy,” see only my spirit to the detriment of my body. If you’re earthly, see only my body, to the detriment of my soul…
Use the power structures that be (political, religious, social, cultural, family) to control me through the iron grip of expectations or force itself: My free will is a threat to your power, so you must clamp me down until I become like a herd animal for your purposes. My agency is your problem. You want me alive but not living from my truest self, more lemming than human
Tell me I’m a victim, at all times and in all circumstances: Nothing is ever my fault, including consequences of my own choices—it’s all just my parents fault, society, my conditioning, or something my therapist hasn’t covered yet…and you can’t hold me to account for it BECAUSE IT ISN’T MY FAULT!!!!!!!
Tell me I’m totally in control of everything in my life: EVERYTHING that happens is ultimately my fault and I have the absolute power to correct it, even if I’m an oppressed minority. Everyone is supposed to be an ubermensch, including me, and if I don’t have the money or fame or influence I want, it’s nobody’s fault but mine…
Put profit over everything else: corporately, grind me down into the dust to just eke out another increase in the next quarter. Or personally, make ambition the overriding driver of my life. So what if I’m already a multimillion dollar football coach who gets my team to the playoffs. If there’s another program that pays me MORE, I should be there!
Make me a servant of the system: treat me like I exist to feed the company, organization, or the economy. I’m just an input, nothing more. The machine doesn’t exist to serve me, that would make no sense…
Don’t let your words match your actions: tell me you care, but don’t act like it. Tell me I matter, but never prioritize it. Tell me we are a “people driven company” but do jack-squat for benefits or healthcare (if you even pay for it). And gawd forbid you pay me fairly, unless I’m a CEO, in which case, pay me BEYOND what I deserve…
Stare at your phone and ignore me, the human next to you: No, the light of your handheld slot machine is far more interesting than me, a fellow traveler in this mysterious existence called life…
Tell me that life is zero sum: if I win, it’s because others had to lose. And if others are winning, it’s by stepping on me to get ahead. Don’t allow nuance to enter the picture. If your neighbor drives a nicer car or has a nicer home, they’re beating you. Period. End of story…
Don’t give me time to just be: don’t let me have more time in my day to just to let my mind wonder, or just spend time with my kids. Treat me like we are not human beings but human doings…
Paint me in black in white terms: I’m all good or all bad. If I like this political party…BAD. If I like that one…GOOD. Ignore my life experience that led me to my views, and only see my opinions as my entire person. I’m just on one team or the other, white or black hat, and I’d better pick the right one…
Tell me I’m less than human because we’re different: for war, tell your tribe that I’m not even human, so your warriors will find it easier to kill me. And when I bleed out, remind them it’s not really human blood…
When I walk by, don’t acknowledge me: No, your comfort is more important than recognizing my existence, even for a brief moment. By all means, stay comfortable. Don’t look or smile at me and keep walking…
Treat me as if the solution to my problems is your product: I just need to buy this cool car, or that awesome watch, and I’ll feel much better about myself. And when the luster wears off, sell me the next one, and the next…
Tell me that alignment is doing what you want: it’s not about being more of myself in this life, with all my unique characteristics and quirks. No, it’s about following the other’s expectations, not my inner voice…
Use language to hide what you’re really saying: use language to hide instead of communicate. Don’t tell me you’re firing me, tell me you’re downsizing. Don’t all me an immigrant, call me a terrorist…
Prioritize things over humans: objects are more important than me, a living being. If a hurricane comes through, it’s more important to keep the church carpet clean than to let me have a place to sleep at night…
Tell me that life is an unending race: as your kid, run me ragged from this soccer game, to that piano session, to this study tutor. Don’t let me just be a kid and play in the backyard. If you don’t have time, why should I..
Treat me as expendable: reduce my humanity to a decimal—I’m just a .002% of “the bottom line…”
Treat me not as a human to connect with, emotionally or even physically: I’m just a tool to be used, a thing to be exploited…
Groupthink me: I am what the group says I am. I am not my own individual, unique person. I’m only the group stereotypes. This makes it easier to justify violence and war when I’m lumped into the group. I’m the part of the sum…
Next time you do a yoga class, remember what “namaste” means—the light in me sees the light in you.
The human matters, my friends :)